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A how to guide, er, the house rules (for all cast and crew)

Welcome footskaters,

You are about to begin a journey that will require the use of your mind, feet, heart, toes and also your ankles. That's right, you're about to enter the rad cool world of footskating. But first some rules:

1. Unlike Fight Club, the first rule of footskating is that everyone talks about footskating. Sure we want to keep this sport true to the underground, but we'd also like people to see the film. So tell your friends about the project, especially if they're journalists. Tell them it's going to be the greatest South African sports movie since Number 10.
   
2. If you are a Prima Donna, then hide it well. Prima Donnas get thrown in the lake next to the set. And who knows what's in that lake. The only attitude we want to see is when you're ripping up the skatepark.
   
3. There will be the odd snack available, but no on-set catering. So eat before you get there. Just remember to wait an hour before exerting yourself, we also don't have insurance, or toilets. this is a low-budget guerrilla movie.
   
4. Did we mention that this is a low-budget guerrilla movie? We had to sell our bodies to afford talent like you.
   
5. At no time may you ask us what it was like selling our bodies. We are still trying to repress those memories.
   
6. This film is about being a team in order to succeed. Let art imitate life. Like the Freestate Cheetahs, we need your support. Team work is the name of the game.
   
7. If you see someone struggling to carry something, lend a hand. Some of the crew won't have slept in months. Once again, we need your help to make this project a success.
   
8. See rule four.
   
9. If you have any wealthy relatives who think investing in films is a good idea, then tell them that we are willing to sell our bodies. This is the only time you may discuss this touchy subject.
   
10. By giving it your all, we will have more chance of taking footskating to the rest of the world. Where it will receive the love and respect it deserves.
    
11. We will not be paying any cellphone bills or any transport costs. There will be no drivers, no bullshit, no attitudes, no selfishness, no nonsense. In fact, the word "no" is out. In fact, we only want people on this journey who embrace the word "yes".
    
12. For the most part you will have to use your own wardrobe.
    
13. You will be expected to help promote the film when the marketing campaign gets underway.
14. There will be no suing - the word "sue" will not be permitted. No one is allowed to sue anyone if you get injured or for anything else for that matter. So, please take care and don't do anything foolish or dangerous. We need you in one piece all the way.
    
15. Please be punctual.
    
16. We are shooting over an extended period of time. Please take care in maintaining your own continuity. Example: if you have had a beard in all your scenes then don't suddenly arrive clean shaven (especially you girls). And maybe avoid poultry and therefore bird flu - we need you as healthy as can be throughout the shoot.
    

Thomas and Brendan